* When I put a note on a customer job and the tech doesn’t pay attention to it or adds extra notes about how he checked it and found that what I wrote (per the customer, I might add) is correct. Thanks for checking the facts for me. Because I obviously do not have a clue. I just coordinate your work for you.
* 1000 Cankers Disease… sounds awful, doesn’t it? Now imagine you are a black walnut tree with this disease. No help for you. Okay… maybe a barrage of injections similar to Chemo-therapy may help… but cancer is easier to get rid of, and probably cheaper.
* Sometimes some foods upset my stomach. Sometimes they don’t. How am I supposed to figure out what I can and can’t eat if my body can’t make up it’s mind?
* When people call about jobs we did for them 2 weeks ago and I don’t show the job as done….. paperwork guys? Would you like to be paid for the work you did?
* When I ask you the same question 3 times and you give me 3 different answers that have nothing to do with the question I asked, or you ask me a question that has nothing to do with the question I asked. Do you want my help or not?
* To do Microsoft updates, Microsoft demands that I use internet explorer. I hate internet explorer. I want to use Firefox. Microsoft, why do you have to be such a dick?
* For the love of all that is holy… if you want to close an account… then close it… or we are just going to keep charging you for services. It’s not my fault you are forgetful. It’s not like we haven’t left you a million messages telling you we are coming out.
* Super pissy people. You know what? I just call and advise you of when you are on the schedule. Don’t bite my head off. It’s not my fault you did not answer the phone, or you did not answer the door or you left your dog out or you didn’t unlock your gate for us or the weather was too hot or too windy or too wet for us to do the application and have it be effective or not damage your landscape. But hey… it’s all about you, isn’t it? Show some fracking consideration. I have to be nice to you no matter how fracking poopy you are to me even when I don’t deserve it. When all I want to do is tell you that you can call me back when you stop behaving like a pissy little selfish shit that has no consideration for any other human being in the world.
* People who ride my butt on the freeway, then you pass me, cut me off and then drive slower than the speed limit. This ain’t NASCAR or Pole Position, son… and you are not the Freeway police.
* Women who start crying when I tell them we are however many days out on non-emergency repairs. Really? Did you not ever grow out of that? Does this really work for you in real life?
Rant done. I just really needed to get that off my chest.