Speak not of that which you know not

(Day 9 of 100)

Ahhhhhhhhh, another day of not much to say. Actually, I want to go lay down on the bed with my man and watch Carrie. Because I haven’t seen it yet and he asked me if I wanted to watch it. Of course I do. It’s cold outside. And I don’t want to write.

So what’s with the title? Well…. People saying things about things they may or may not know anything about. For example…. I don’t think people who do not suffer from chronic depression (I don’t mean people that suffered from depression for a little while because bad things happened in their life or someone died or whatever. That’s temporary and they got better) I mean people who deal with it everyday when there really isn’t anything in their life for them to be unhappy about. Like me.

I have had many rough patches and it was difficult to deal with the regular depression topped off with the situational depression. Very very very difficult. To the point of needing to reach out for help. Because I wanted life to just stop hurting. And right now… life may not be perfect. But it definitely is not anything to be sad about. I am very very happy. And yet… I have to talk myself out of bed some mornings. I cry at least once every day. I thank God for Air1 to listen to on the way to work. And yes… I do post uplifting quotes on my facebook every morning. Why? Because it makes me feel better. It starts my day off with a happy thought. And people tell me they love them. Every morning they look forward to them. So I guess, I feel  like I am helping someone else.

My Nephew has magically come back from being lost to the world. I am happy he is okay and doing well. Today is his birthday, which I had forgotten. But I forget everyone’s birthday. Because that is just how I am. In our conversation I discovered that his mother told him something interesting about why I was let go from my last great job. And that his mother heard it from my mother. These are the two people in the family I speak to the least… and it kind of upset me because it was entirely untrue. If it was true I would not have gotten 3 months severance pay with full benefits. WTH? I am feeling a little furious at the moment. I’ll get over it. I was really happy to hear from him though and find that he is okay and is doing well and hasn’t been sucked into some weird cult. At least I hope that is not the case.

Anyways…… I know none of the above made sense. And I’m sure it’s because my mind is elsewhere… like in that bed with that man watching a movie.

Here I go.

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Cram your thoughts down my throat. It makes me happy.... come on... just do it!

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