To feel outloud or not to feel outloud. How about your weekend?

(Day 10 of 100) Woohoo! 1/10th of the way there.

I am feeling very conflicted. I have some things on my mind that I want to write about. And at the same time that I want to share them with a bunch of strangers that don’t know me…. I do not want to share them with the people that do. There are a lot of reasons for that. It’s not that I have something to hide. I don’t. I just think that sometimes our thoughts and feelings are better left unsaid so as to not put pressure on someone, or make them feel badly or whatever when that is not the purpose in the first place (or the second or the third for that matter.)

So instead, I shall blog about my weekend. And you can all be left hanging, wondering what it is that I am holding inside, not sharing with you all. And I shall write on about my daily junk while the girl inside screams silently to be heard by someone who can judge her but she won’t care, or who will comment and make her feel as though her thoughts and feelings are valid…

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Nobody comments on my blog here. I’m not exactly sure what is up with that….. Other than my writing is currently sub-par, at best, comparatively to what it used to be.

So anyways…. on my with my weekend. I hung out with the man I adore, which always makes for a perfect weekend. We did some running. I like running. I do not like running in the cold. Actually, I just don’t like being cold. Running in the cold is not that bad except that the cold air really does not feel so good in the chest. The last run we took we actually recorded my heart rate. Beloved was concerned because it was so high. He runs marathons. He has always run. And his heart rate hangs at about 133 I think while he runs. Mine hangs out in the 170’s when I run. Peaking up into the 180’s. I looked into this a little and considering that I have not been running all fall or winter… That’s pretty standard. Also… a lot of people have a high heart rate anyways. So, in case anyone was actually concerned, I probably will not have a heart attack while running. I may have one from sitting on my ass at my job for the better part of the day. Heard a discussion on the radio the other day about how they did a study and people who sit on their butts for more than 4 hours a day are more susceptible to heart attacks, high blood pressure, diabetes, bla bla bla bla bla. I’m looking into a desk that I can attach to my current short desk that will pull out and up so I can stand. Wouldn’t that be splendiferous? I think so. I miss the standing desk I had at my last real job.

Also, this weekend, I cut out the pieces for the monk like garb I am making for my friend Eric. I’m a corner of a lining piece short on fabric. I will make due. (Much like they did in Medieval times) And it will look good.

I had some odd dreams. Did some cooking. I made biscuit bowls and Beloved made Chili to fill them with. And then we vegged out and read and he napped while I read. I’ve been doing a lot of reading lately and I missed that.

I have many projects I need to get my butt in gear and do. I hate the feeling of being unfinished. I’m being commissioned for more, so that is good. And I want to learn things. Nålbinding and playing my guitar and card weaving and lampwork beads. I have so many creative ideas in my head… and I’m very frustrated.

Anyways… Have you clicked on that link over there to the right to sign the petition to save Pastor Saeed? Well, if you haven’t, you should. Simply out of duty to the loving of your fellow man. Thanks if you have. Thanks in advance if you are going to. (Don’t be a dick)

Okay… I’m gonna go now and research Norse stitching techniques. Not that I haven’t done this a thousand times… but I’m preparing for my work to look authentic should it be closely examined. *grin*

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Cram your thoughts down my throat. It makes me happy.... come on... just do it!

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