I do have long bouts of being happy. And then I have these hard drawn out times of pretending that I’m happy. And in those times…. I feel alone. I feel tired. I hate my life. I hate the world. And I hate the way I feel because there is no reason for me to feel this way. I can’t sleep. I can’t focus. I can’t find motivation. I want to lock myself away from the world. And the only person I want to be near, I can’t be near as often as I wish.
I hate depression. I’m not sure if it hates me or loves me, but I wish it would go somewhere else.