So…. my brain is starting to get quite congested. I know, I haven’t been here for a while. Not that anyone is noticing. 😂 But seriously, I don’t honestly care if anyone is noticing. This site is for me and me alone. If you find yourself here, Hi there! Welcome to my tiny little minuscule corner of the vast expanse of the interwebs.
Why have I returned here? Why not. Everyone else is out here creating content. Why should I be any different? I guess the difference is that I don’t need EVERYONE to notice me. I don’t care about followers or anything like that. I don’t NEED to be seen by EVERYONE. And I don’t really care if I am. I would like to be truly seen by one person. (no…. not anyone in particular at the moment.) But maybe again someday, someone will truly see me again. And love that person. And let’s just get this straight, I’m not short on people in my life who love me as I am, accept me as I am, and think I’m gosh darn wonderful. I’m good.
Anywho…. where was my scatterbrained ass at? Oh, here she is. As I said, my brain is getting congested. It’s apparently time for another growth spurt. I’m being told I need to write. My thoughts, my ideas, my feelings, my perceptions… that book I’ve been meaning to write. I should get on that before Alzheimer’s kicks in or something. Hold on…. my coffee has gotten cold…… okay. I don’t always have something specific I want to write about. Most of the time I have about 80 specific things I want to write about and that’s a problem. Focus.
I’ve been thinking about a lot of things lately. And with that comes introspection. While I struggle with organization in the physical realm, so do I also in the headspace. Decluttering needs to occur across the board and writing helps the headspace. Topics I may discuss here:
- Dating
- Physical Self-care (and the struggles)
- Mental self-care (and the struggles)
- Perceptions of the world around me
- Successes and Accomplishments
- Projects
And you know… all other manner of personal shyte. If you are find yourself visiting, please feel free to provide commentary. Share with me your thoughts and ideas. I’m all about it. Really. It’s how we grow.
So let’s get started:
Dear Diary,
We’ve started the day with a migraine. Cheesus H. Roosevelt Christ on a Cracker, I hate that. Like the other chronic pain was not enough. So what do we do? We stand outside in the cold without shoes and a coat. (If I had one of those cold water tubs… I’d get in it. We’ll just stand under a cold shower later) Practiced my coffee ritual. Got down on the floor and did some stretching. And now we are here. The holidays seem to be depressing for me for the last 10 years or so. I’m filled with the “Why bother” mindset. If you don’t know what mindset this is, let me help with a little Bette Midler. May I present, Angst on a Shoestring:
I used to love making gifts, and a part of me still does. I have all the materials to make the things. Yes. I’m a hoarder of fabric and yarn, I admit it. I really need to get to making the things. I remember when my babies were young and we didn’t have a lot of money, so I would always try to save up and buy them each one big thing that they really wanted and then I would make them things. How proud I was when my daughter made her first sewing project. She made us all these little stuffed creatures she called “nubbins.” She cut shapes out of fleece fabric scraps, sewed them up, stuffed them, and then stitched some goofy faces on each one. I still have my nubbin. She was so proud of herself. It makes me smile to think about it.
I did set up the tree in the house to try and be Christmassy. Is that a word? According to spellcheck, it isn’t, unless I capitalize it… so there we go. I put some weird green and red disco lights on the front porch that come on when it gets dark. If can get some elves out there to repeat “Boots and Pants and Boots and Pants and Boots and Pants” in a whisper, this could be a party. They make cool patterns on the living room ceiling as they sneak in from the blinds, and the cat is enthralled. Maybe later this morning, when the sun comes up I’ll take my migraine outside and make it put up some Christmas lights. Oh yeah. Get it. Giggity. I was going to show you my sad little tree but I ran into an ADHD moment where I discovered that my iCloud is not sharing my photos with my pc and that was a rabbit hole and then I discovered that my hard drive is getting full and so I need to handle that issue… and and and…. time to make a list.
- Clean up hard drive
- clean up photo storage
Damn, there’s a bunch of clutter everywhere!
Well, we’ve gone off-topic, haven’t we? Focus goes Poof. I guess it’s time to focus on other things. Have a great day.
Justmemyownself 